The Waltz

I am officially OVER WEIGHT! No, this isn't negative thinking, what that really means is I am not OBESE. When Linda told me this, at this week's weigh in, it was a real moment for me. The first thought to enter my head, was

I used to be Obese. That was something I once was. I will never be that again.

With that said I wasn't really expecting it this week. I was doing a lot of "dancing" this week. Let me explain. Dancing to me is the waltz I have to do to live my life. It is baking cookies with my kids and eating a few with them, it is having a glass of sparkling cider with my husband at 9:30pm, it is also waking up at 5:30 am to work out so hard that I have to recover from the workout by lying on the couch crying! In the past I have been able to keep the waltzing at a minimum. But this week it just seemed to be there all the time. I had to be very aware of how many I was eating and why. I am sure it has to due with some terrible weather we have been having, and of course it being so close to Christmas.

I don't know if I have mentioned how much I love Christmas! My little family has huge Christmas traditions. Here are a few. We put up the Christmas Tree on November 12, out of respect for the dead and "Remembrance Day", which I believe in commemorating to the full extend! We also wrap up 52 Christmas stories, and put them under our Christmas tree, and unwrap one a night to read until Christmas. I always bake sugar cookies, ginger bread men, and fudge. What I have found, different about the baking of sweets, is that my down fall is "WARM". I am a sucker for a warm cookie. So I always have a plan to indulge in 2 or 3, and then the rest go into the freezer as fast as possible. It has also helps me to make on single batches of things instead of doubling to tripling. I find with a single batch I don't get as tired, and am able to control myself better. But all this has to do with "waltzing" because I am still really nervous about it. I am taking baby steps to trusting myself, and really staying in the moment. If I am going to have something naughty I want it to be because I can enjoy it. I don't want to eat it because it is there, or because I need an escape, or want to make myself happy. I want to it eat it because it is part of the moment. What a warm sugar cookie is to me is:
my wonderful loving mother sneaking a special one just for me,
my fathers voice reading a poem in front of the fireplace while the snow drifts outside
a fresh Christmas tree, with even brighter lights
sledding up and down drifts with my brothers and sisters
getting pulled behind a motorcycle on a sled with the snow flying up and burning my face
seeing my children dust covered in flour as they each choose the shape they want to make
visiting old friends who make a fuss over how wonderful I am
appreciating people and sharing some of blessed Mana with them so they know how much they are loved


What I have figured out is I don't need to eat a batch of sugar cookies in order to have those things but I will never deny myself ONE either. That would not be realistic.


Dancing is very dangerous. There is always the chance of being swept off your feet, or being lead around the floor instead of being the leader, but I believe with out dancing, one cannot live life or change LIfestyles.

And so you see with the amount of Waltzing going on this week I was surprised at the drop in weight. But I forget that dancing itself is a good form of exercise.