Why Barefoot??

Because being barefoot to me is being raw. Feeling every sharp rock, lush clover, spiky thistle, cushioned blade of grass, slimy covered stones, fragrant feathered flowers, cereal of sand, bead of water, element of litter, and the mash of mud.

Being Barefoot is the promise of prancing in the moonlight, leaping in the waves, running through a meadow, dancing on the porch, and doing all this while enduring a long journey to the end.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas Tips

Ok so a fast post for Christmas because who wants to be writing blogs when there are Christmas cards to still write.

I have been able to encourage my integrity this Christmas by doing the following things.
Instead of buying dollar store junk, or giving away unhealthy treats which everybody loves but lets face it nobody needs. We wrote meaningful Christmas cards and included the following in the card along with some of these pictures.

I had a friend go to Africa this last year, with the program Mother’s Without Borders. She will be returning to Africa in April. In leiu of Christmas Gift or unhealthy treats this year. We have donated money to this cause in your name, by purchasing this picture. I hope when you look at this picture it will fill you with warmth and remind us all of how truly blessed we already are.

“ ‘Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!’..... ‘At this time of rolling year,’ the spectre said, ‘I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to which it light would have conducted me!’” -Marley’s Ghost, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Best thing ever.

Next, was an idea that came from a sheet that Linda gave me. It said to enjoy the things we can only enjoy at Christmas. ie for me Sugar cookies, Toffiefay, Macadamia clusters, homemade slush. While still trying to employ the three bite rule on most things.

Next comes from this blog you HAVE to read it. I have been loving it. This is only some of what it said.

Either they always have to be "perfect", never straying from some restrictive ideal, or instead they pigeonhole themselves into some dietary regime or strategy.

Striving to be perfect is a sure way to first "fall off the wagon", and then "not get back on track", because who wants to be on an impossible track.

My thinking is that rather than try to be perfect, do your best, remembering of course that your best will vary, and some days, compared with others, objectively your best won't look very good, despite the fact that subjectively it's actually your best.
Don't strive for perfection, and don't live a pigeonhole, instead do and eat your best, and rather than worry that your best isn't perfect, worry if it is.

When I read this, it felt like, oh yeah I believe that too, but I had forgotten. It was great to be reminded.

Next, know your tools. Just as any trade person going to work knows which tools work best in which situations know your tools. Some of my tools this month have been watching Christmas movies, baths, lunch with friends, puzzles, sudko, ice water, learning to knit, teaching my daughter to sew, fancy herbal tea, wrapping gifts, and letting my children attack the treats from the neighbours first.

Last follow this link to watch a beautiful video, and hopeful this Christmas we will all remember to be wise.

Merry Christmas.



Monday, December 12, 2011

100 Grateful things

My dear friend on her blog(click her to see her list) took the Gratitude challenge offered in the December Ensign issue page 6.(click here to see the challenge.)

10 Physical Abilities you are grateful for.
1 Running 2 Typing
3 Sit ups 4 Driving a car
5 Smelling 6 Touch
7 Smiling 8 Seeing
9 Walking 10 Speaking

10 Material possessions you are grateful for.
1 Home 2 Yukon
3 Bed 4 Christmas tree
5 Hoodie 6 Necklace
7 Glasses 8 Socks
9 Computer 10 Deck

10 Living People you are grateful for.
1 Children 2 Brother and Sisters
3Mom 4 Sisters in Law
5 Dad 6 Brothers in Law
7Prophet 8 Mother in Law
9 Husband 10Father in Law

10 Deceased people your are grateful for.
1 Grandma Pilling 2 Grandpa Pilling
3 Grandpa Workman 4 Maycey Olsen
5 Jamie Merrill 6 Fern Walburger
7 Neil Shipley 8 Joseph Smith
9 Mormon 10 Richard Pilling

10 Things about nature that you are grateful for.
1 Sunrise 2 Sunset
3 Green Grass 4 Sparkly Snow
5 Mountains 6 Water
7 Wind 8 Trees
9 Animals 10 Clouds

10 things about today you are grateful for.
1 Having a friend like Kaylynn 2 Got to go visit with some sister's today
3 Got to talk to Jesse on the phone 4 Got to read some of the General Conference Ensign
5 Got to take a hot bath 6 Got to wear warm winter boots
7 Had an adventure getting stuck and then another adventure getting unstuck
8 Got to work a puzzle today
9 Got some laundry done
10 Got to read Christmas stories to my kids tonight.

10 places on earth you are grateful for.
1 Leavitt 2 Home
3 Temple 4 Bethlehem
5 Canada 6 Waterton
7 Utah 8 Community Pasture
9 Chief Mountain 10 Leavitt Cemetary

10 Modern inventions you are grateful for.
1 Dishwasher 2 Washing machine
3 Dryer 4 Oven
5 Microwave 6 Roaster
7 Phone 8 Cars
9 Furnace 10 Toilet

10 foods you are grateful for.
1 Strawberries 2 Mangos
3 Lettuce 4 Carrots
5 Chicken 6 Peanut butter
7 Mandarin Oranges 8 Sweet Red Peppers
9 Spinach 10 Onions

10 Things about the Gospel you are grateful for.
1 Peace that it brings me.
2 Saviour
3 Atonement
4 Scriptures
5 Living Prophet
6 Eternal Families
7 Temple
8 Young Women's program
9 Priesthood
10 Convenants

This was great for me to do, so I'll pass along the challenge....
What's your 100 grateful things??

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


I love fast Sunday’s. It was not always so. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I read this out of the Gospel Principles manual, “Fasting helps us gain strength of character. When we fast properly we will learn to control our appetites and passions. We are a little stronger by having proved to ourselves that we have self-control. If we teach our children to fast, they will develop the spiritual strength to over come greater temptations later in their lives.” (Pg. 147)

Ever since then I have looked forward to Fast Sunday and throughly enjoy the challenge of controlling my appetites and passions.

The rest of the week has been so challenging that I have even wondered a time or two if it is really worth it. Do I really want to be healthy this bad? Or do I just want to be obese?

I do just keep reminding myself that yes, yes I do want this. Things I am really struggling with is the prep time with food. I will always make the better choice when it is an option but making the option available is difficult lately. I actually do better when eating out. It is easy to choose a salad or soup or veggie meal.

This week Linda and I talk about making a physical “Tool Box”. I am finding this as difficult as the food options. I think because it is Christmas time and every penny counts. I sometimes get scared that I am just going to switch addictions from eating to spending to much money. Our finances are a mess as always, it makes me feel like I am obese again with money. At the same time the thought of tackling that with the weight issues are enough to put me through a 25L bucket of ice cream.

The sad thing is that Christmas is my time. I love Christmas. I am still loving Christmas. I did have a moment yesterday, Maggie was napping I was making sugar cookies for YW’s, I had the music playing it was snowing, I even let my big dog inside, I loved it. It was a really living in the moment. I had two cookies, one hot out of the oven the other with icing. Felt completely in control. I love that moment that was a true Christmas moment. I just wish it wasn’t such a fight to stay “in the moment” of all things and just deal with them, instead of running, hiding, and avoiding it with food. Anyway that is how it is rolling this week. I am fighting, but it is a good fight and I feel like I still have some armor on.



Thursday, December 1, 2011

Food addiction and Repentance

Yes I know that picture of my feet is so ugly but it is what it is, my poor toes are still recovering from the marathon. They don't hurt anymore they just look that ugly.

In order to understand how much I love this conference talk you first must understand that I consider my food addiction just as much an offence to Heavenly Father as a drug, porn, or alcohol. I realize that some people will think this is extreme. But I have come to realize that instead of feeling the feeling and then turning to Heavenly Father for comfort, peace, and answers on how to deal with things I have, in the past just used food to alter my mood.

The definition of addiction is


[uh-dik-shuhn] Show IPA noun
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics,to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

I was eating so much extra food that my feet were becoming wreaked. I was 35 years old and wearing inserts in my shoes because my feet hurt so bad from walking around. I was so tired that I didn't have very much patience with my children, or spouse. To me that was severe trauma.

So when I read the conference talk by Elder D. Todd Christofferson titled The Divine Gift of Repentance (click on highlighted version to see or listen to the whole talk) it meant a lot to me because I need to repent what feels like almost every day, for using food to alter my moods. Here are some of my favourite parts.

"Only repentance leads to the sunlit uplands of a better life."

"Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace."

I don't really know if I have every said "I need to repent" with a smile on my face. But I am going to try it this week.

"First, the invitation to repent is an expression of love."

I have never thought of repentance in this way I love it. Yes of course it is an expression of love.

"Second, repentance means striving to change. It would mock the Savior’s suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross for us to expect that He should transform us into angelic beings with no real effort on our part. Rather, we seek His grace to complement and reward our most diligent efforts (see 2 Nephi 25:23). Perhaps as much as praying for mercy, we should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome. Surely the Lord smiles upon one who desires to come to judgment worthily, who resolutely labors day by day to replace weakness with strength. Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving."

This one made me cry. I especially like that the Lord would smile on one who desires to come to judgment worthily. I want to badly to be worthy to live with him again.

"Third, repentance means not only abandoning sin but also committing to obedience. The Bible Dictionary states, “Repentance comes to mean a turning of the heart and will to God, [as well as] a renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined.”1

What hit me on this one was "renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined."

"For our turning to the Lord to be complete, it must include nothing less than a covenant of obedience to Him."

I had never thought of it this way that I am making a covenant with the Lord to be obedient to Him.

"In the memorable expression of Professor Noel Reynolds, “The choice to repent is a choice to burn bridges in every direction [having determined] to follow forever only one way, the one path that leads to eternal life.”3"

This quote is going on the wall.

"Fourth, repentance requires a seriousness of purpose and a willingness to persevere, even through pain."

"With faith in the merciful Redeemer and His power, potential despair turns to hope. One’s very heart and desires change, and the once-appealing sin becomes increasingly abhorrent. A resolve to abandon and forsake the sin and to repair, as fully as one possibly can, the damage he or she has caused now forms in that new heart. This resolve soon matures into a covenant of obedience to God."

"Any pain entailed in repentance will always be far less than the suffering required to satisfy justice for unresolved transgression. "

I so needed this today, in working through my weight loss I have come up against some very hard mental things to deal with. So hard that at times I really don't know if it is worth it. But so far the pain has been worth it. Like my friend Patrica said "Choose your hard. It is hard to be fat. It is hard to be at a healthy weight so choose your hard."

"Fifth, whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness."

I have felt that joy, and want to continue to feel it, and so wipe off the tears change the prayers to ones of praying for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome, and lift your head up. You are a daughter of God and He will never abandon you.

Food addiction is tough, you still need to eat food. You cannot go cold turkey. I don't know what going cold turkey is like but it seems like it would be a little bit easier to me than just eating a little, or you only get to eat this one, but not that one. It is very difficult. It is very hard. But Heavenly has helped me in the past and He will continue to help me in the future, as long as I continue to ask humbling for help.