Why Barefoot??

WHY BAREFOOT????
Because being barefoot to me is being raw. Feeling every sharp rock, lush clover, spiky thistle, cushioned blade of grass, slimy covered stones, fragrant feathered flowers, cereal of sand, bead of water, element of litter, and the mash of mud.

Being Barefoot is the promise of prancing in the moonlight, leaping in the waves, running through a meadow, dancing on the porch, and doing all this while enduring a long journey to the end.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Fasting

I love fast Sunday’s. It was not always so. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I read this out of the Gospel Principles manual, “Fasting helps us gain strength of character. When we fast properly we will learn to control our appetites and passions. We are a little stronger by having proved to ourselves that we have self-control. If we teach our children to fast, they will develop the spiritual strength to over come greater temptations later in their lives.” (Pg. 147)


Ever since then I have looked forward to Fast Sunday and throughly enjoy the challenge of controlling my appetites and passions.


The rest of the week has been so challenging that I have even wondered a time or two if it is really worth it. Do I really want to be healthy this bad? Or do I just want to be obese?


I do just keep reminding myself that yes, yes I do want this. Things I am really struggling with is the prep time with food. I will always make the better choice when it is an option but making the option available is difficult lately. I actually do better when eating out. It is easy to choose a salad or soup or veggie meal.


This week Linda and I talk about making a physical “Tool Box”. I am finding this as difficult as the food options. I think because it is Christmas time and every penny counts. I sometimes get scared that I am just going to switch addictions from eating to spending to much money. Our finances are a mess as always, it makes me feel like I am obese again with money. At the same time the thought of tackling that with the weight issues are enough to put me through a 25L bucket of ice cream.


The sad thing is that Christmas is my time. I love Christmas. I am still loving Christmas. I did have a moment yesterday, Maggie was napping I was making sugar cookies for YW’s, I had the music playing it was snowing, I even let my big dog inside, I loved it. It was a really living in the moment. I had two cookies, one hot out of the oven the other with icing. Felt completely in control. I love that moment that was a true Christmas moment. I just wish it wasn’t such a fight to stay “in the moment” of all things and just deal with them, instead of running, hiding, and avoiding it with food. Anyway that is how it is rolling this week. I am fighting, but it is a good fight and I feel like I still have some armor on.

xoxo

Barb

5 comments:

  1. I hope the angel cookie tasted really good!!

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  2. Nice tidbit on the fasting, I think I just might use that to help make fasting more meaningful. Yup, you are in control and you CAN do it!! I'm glad you had a nice Christmas moment, and I'm sure there are more on the way!!
    Merry Christmas!! :)

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  3. So glad that you were able to "live in the moment". I need to do that more often as well. As far as the other stuff, remember, you only need to do one day. That is it. I often used to look at the days as a big long stretch of insurmountable mountains until I realized that I only have to worry about one at a time. I wouldn't make any commitments about future days, just today. Then, usually by some miracle I would have the strength to do one more, and one more. You can do this!

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  4. I ate gingerbread cookies yesterday and today. Yesterday I wasn't in control but today it was a decision I made and I thoroughly enjoyed them.
    I love fasting. I am so good at it. The problem comes when I start eating again!

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