UP

"When it is dark enough you can see the stars."
- Persain Proverb

Christmas was HARD. So no I didn't give my self the hundred pounds for Christmas.

Life is HARD. My Goliath keeps appearing and I don't feel like I have any stones left to hit him with. By now you should all know that this blog is an outlet for me. By writing this blog it helps me process what is really going on in my head, and with my eating. It usually doesn't mean I am as grumpy or as sad, or as heart broken as it sounds.

What is really quite humorous to me, is that I know, that my Goliath will always be with me, I know that, so WHY am I so surprised when he come thundering out of the valley to challenge me?

I guess he just wears so many different cloaks, and I just never feel prepared to go to battle with him. I honestly feel like I am still trying on the Kings armour EVERY time. I want to someday just be able to run out to meet him on the field with stones ready in my pocket.

The thing I found out about this battle, this time is that food doesn't work any more. It doesn't numb me any more. That is a little sad for me. And to be totally honest maddening.

On the up side Swinging my Kettlebell does. But unfortunately it is not as easy to access as food is.

I will win my battle with Goliath every time, because HE IS NOT THE BOSS OF ME. But man oh man I get so tired of the fighting.

Ok with all of that said.

I ran a 5k on December 31, in Lethbridge. The race was called the "Resolution Run" it was awesome. Pictures and maybe even video since Jesse got a video camera for Christmas might make an appearance on the next blog. It started at 6pm it was only -15 Celsius hardly any wind, about 200 people, the paths were mostly clear, I ran the whole way except for at the first because to many people. My great husband toted the children around the whole course with them yelling "go mom go".

I used to different running chants in my head. The first is my stand by chant.

I'm healthy, I'm strong, I'm everything that I need to be I am a daughter of God, I am a daughter of God.

The second was a new one I made up just for this race because it was a "Resolution Race"

155, Legacy 1/2, and Pocatello Full

These of course being my personal resolutions for the year.

I want to hit my goal weight this year of 155 pounds. Which is 32.6 pounds away.

I want to run the Legacy 1/2 marathon. Which is only 21 weeks away.

I want to run the Pocatello Marathon. Which is only 8 months away.

So even though I am currently standing in the shadow of my Goliath and his shadow is so large that it blocks out the light. I just need to remember to look UP so that I can see the stars.
Love ya all and Happy New Year.