Nurturing does not equal food.

I need some help. I am currently constructing a list of ways to nurture my children without food. So I need idea's on how to do this, and as one of my sisters says "The best idea is a lot of ideas."

So far I have come up with

Let them help me clean or clean with them.

Read a book.

Make a play fort.

Go on a walk.

Do their hair.

Listen to them.

Where is this coming from??? Well I found a deep hidden belief last week. The belief is that when I want to take care of something I feed it. You can see that for a food addict this is a belief that needs to be change or rewired. And of course that takes me back to one of my favourite quotes.

"How to change; Change your THINKING, which will change your FEELINGS, which will change your, ACTIONS which will change your LIFE."

So in order to change or rewire this belief, I am starting a list of ways I can nurture not only my children but other people in general. I believe by having a physical list to look at will help me change my Thinking and so on.

I have also started a new practice. When I am doing an activity that is suppose to be nurturing to myself I actually say it out loud.

"I am nurturing myself right now by................."

Some of the activities have been going for a walk, taking a bath in the morning, turning on music, sitting out on the porch, reading a page of a book. All of this nurturing talk reminded me of another quote.

"You do not have to earn your worth you brought it with you. Nothing you do or do not do will affect your worth. It does not depend on your family of origin your appearance your performance your position or your husbands position or anything else."

I think I got this from my sweet Mother-in-law. The thing I love about this quote is that I feel like it gives me permission to nurture myself. I don't have to earn anything, I have already brought it with me. Now that doesn't mean I don't set goals and reward myself for accomplishing them. But I can just randomly nurture myself any time. In fact I am really good at nurturing myself, I just used to do it with food. Hence why I weighed 285 pounds. I just need to remember to nurture myself in other ways now. I know, I know, the food is a really convenient, easy access way to do that, but it wasn't and isn't really working for me. So we are going to program other things in there.

Mean while the marathon training is coming along. Ran a total of 19 miles last week broken into 3, 5, 3, and 8. This week I will run a total of 21 miles. The mileage is starting to add up, my body is feeling it. I have decided to use the train of thought that my body is getting strong. If I wasn't feeling it then it wouldn't be getting stronger, so I need to feel some pain in order for my body to get stronger.

I have also constructed two mental video's one of my favourite runs and the other of what it will be like to finish the marathon. I keep practicing running them through my head. I have also used this in my weight loss. I have made a mental video of me turning down dessert, food that I really don't want, even just enjoying the healthy food, or good portion sizes of food. I have made video's of times when I have felt in control of the food addiction that I have. I am currently working on a video of when I reach my goal weight of 155. The way I make these video's is by journaling the scenes. If it is one that has happened I write down what I was wearing, what was the smell, how did I feel, who was with me, where was I, how did I get out of the situation? If it is one that hasn't happened I do the same thing only a little more general like I will be wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I also try and focus more on the feelings. I just made these this week so I will try to remember to report back to you on how they are doing.

The other thing that helped me last week was something that Linda said. I was whining to her about how hard it is right now because I don't really need to lose weight but I want to. I said it seems like it was easier when I needed to lose weight because I was unhealthy it was dangerous and I wanted to be there for my kids. Linda said nope she said the "Want" is way more important than the "Need". I found out last week that, is completely true. I haven't really wanted to lose weight in a while. I wanted to enjoy my birthday, I wanted to finish the 1/2 marathon. But last week I wanted to lose weight and I did. So it is a interesting question to ask yourself. If you really really want something, what hidden agenda is keeping you from it? It is never easy to get something you want. You will have to change a lot of comfortable things in order to get it, but you and Heavenly Father will work it out, and maybe move a few mountains in the mean while. Remember you are never alone. If you have prayed and received an answer that your "want" is a righteous desire, then put every energy you have into obtaining that which the Lord will provide for you. No matter how hard, or how long, you only fail when you give up trying.

xoxo

Barb