Daily Bread

Considering I have been fighting with white bread this week (meaning I am trying not to eat so much of it) I found this article in the January issue of the Ensign by Elder D. Todd Christofferson entitled "Recognizing God's Hand in our Daily Blessings" I would recommend reading it.

He talks about the tribes of Israel when they were in the desert and receiving Manna from Heaven. The tribes were only suppose to collect enough for one day. Elder Christofferson says that the Lord was teaching them to have faith in Heavenly Father. That He would sustain them, every day. But then he goes on to explain.

"Once the tribes of Israel were in a position to provide for themselves, they were required to do so. Likewise, as we plead with God for our daily bread—for help in the moment that we cannot provide for ourselves—we must still be active in doing and providing that which is within our power."

I found this comforting this week. In the moment when I am feeling rather tempted or losing the battle the Lord will provide for me and while he will never leave me comfortless he does require me to do all within my power.

Elder Christofferson continues.

"Asking God for our daily bread rather than our weekly, monthly, or yearly bread is also a way for us to focus on the smaller, more manageable bits of a problem. To deal with something big, we may need to work at it in small, daily bites. Sometimes all we can handle is one day—or even just part of one day—at a time."

This is exactly what I needed to hear this week. Stop focusing on the fact that I am going to fight this fight for the rest of my life. Just focus on making the right choice right now.

To repent, improve, and eventually reach “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13) is a step-by-step process. Incorporating new and wholesome habits into our character or overcoming bad habits or addictions often means an effort today followed by another tomorrow and then another, perhaps for many days, even months and years, until we achieve victory. But we can do it because we can appeal to God for our daily bread, for the help we need each day.

I have a quote that says simply "NOT TODAY". Nope not today am I going to eat those chocolate covered peanuts, not today am I going to make another batch of chocolate chip cookies. But maybe I should put up another quote that say TODAY. Today I will choose to be a better daughter of God, I will choose....

^fliberty and eternal ^glife, through the great Mediator of all men,

-2 Nephi 2:27-

In reality, there aren’t many things in a day that are totally without significance. Even the mundane and repetitious can be tiny but significant building blocks that in time establish the discipline and character and order needed to realize our plans and dreams. Therefore, as you ask in prayer for your daily bread, consider thoughtfully your needs—both what you may lack and what you must protect against. As you retire to bed, think about the successes and failures of the day and what will make the next day a little better. And thank your Heavenly Father for the manna He has placed along your path that sustained you through the day. Your reflections will increase your faith in Him as you see His hand helping you to endure some things and to change others. You will be able to rejoice in one more day, one more step toward eternal life.

I am going to put this into practice this week, considering what I need and what I need protected against, and then following through at the end of the day by thinking about the success and failures hopefully making the next day better. I have to be honest the food Goliath has been winning lately. I really need to kick him out of the drivers seat and buckle him up in the back.

Meanwhile I have got my training schedule down for the Legacy 1/2 Marathon in May for those interested. All numbers are in miles. You will notice that the training is three days a week, this will be followed by three days of Kettlebells in between. I am loving that the longest I have to run durning the week is 4 miles, because the weekday runs will have to be done on a treadmill and then all the long runs will be done on Saturdays mostly outside I hope. I have never used this training schedule before all I really did was take my Marathon training schedule and cut out a day and halved it.

week	day 1	day 2	day 3	Total
1	1.5	2	2.5	6
2	1.5	2	3	6.5
3	1.5	2	3.5	7
4	1.5	2.5	4	8
5	1.5	2.5	5	9
6	2	2.5	5.5	10
7	2	3	6	11
8	2	3	7	12
9	2	3.5	8	13.5
10	2.5	4	9	15.5
11	2.5	4	10	16.5
12	2.5	4	11	17.5
13	2.5	4	9	13.5
14	2.5	4	4.5	11
15	1.5	2.5	4	8
16	1.5	1.5	13.1	16.1

You are all welcome to join along I am very excited to have a plan, I really love a plan.

xoxo

Barb

In the middle of a very muddy puddle.......

The Muddy Puddle

by Dennis Lee

I am sitting

In the middle

Of a rather Muddy Puddle,

With my bottom

Full of bubbles

and my rubbers

Full of Mud,

While my jacket

And my sweater

Go on slowly

Getting wetter

As I very

Slowly settle

To the Bottom

Of the Mud.

And I find that

What a person

With a puddle

Round his middle

thinks of mostly

In the muddle

Is the Muddi-Ness of Mud.

This is the best description of my life right now. Or I was even thinking that right now in my marathon race I am so tired that I am walking instead of running. Once in a while I will "run" to the next telephone pole or the mail box or for at least 20 fence posts, but then I walk again. Good news is that it is still moving forward. Still going the right way, I am not standing still or moving backwards. Even when you look closer at the picture above have you ever seen a more beautiful mud puddle, and just look around the corner no mud and soft green grass to run on.

I just keep telling everyone and myself that I am FINE. My friend Kaylynn told me that "fine" is a four letter word, it is true, but it is better than saying some other four letter words I would like to say.

It is not the exercise but always the food. I am so addicted to using food as a mood changer, that it brings me back to my knees. But the good news is that while I am already on my knees I figure there is no harm in praying, and then......My Father in Heaven sends so many blessings, love, and guiding hands to help me I think WHY can't you get on your knees before the food??? Maybe it wouldn't be the same? Maybe someday I can love my addiction because it brings me closer to God?

Mmmmmmm that day is not on my radar screen yet but there is Hope.

Here is just one of the many ways Heavenly Father has helped me this week, during my personal scripture study.

Mosiah 23:21-23

21 Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to ^achasten his people; yea, he trieth their ^bpatience and their faith.

22 Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his ^atrust in him the same shall be ^blifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people.

23 For behold, I will show unto you that they were brought into^abondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yea, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.

I don't really feel like I am being "chastened" but I do believe my patience is being tried, and I do KNOW that none can deliver me but the Lord God.

xoxo

Barb

2 out of 3 isn't bad

Resolutions for 2011 were

Legacy 1/2 marathon check

Pocatello full marathon check

and hit 155........

And so as we approach another new year it seems I have left over resolutions.

This is a quote from another blog that I love. Click here to read the whole thing.

"The crucial difference between a goal and a resolution.

One's a hope, and one's a plan.

A goal might be to lose weight, get in shape, eat healthier, love better, get a promotion, higher grades in school, etc. Those are things you truly hope you'll do in 2012.

A resolution?

That'd be the plan that'll actually get you there."

So with that in mind. The only goal I have for 2012 is to weigh 155.

My resolutions are to:

Exercise 5 days a week.

Journal what I eat.

Check in weekly at clinic.

Do not eat after 9pm at night.

Never give up. Never.

I have decided I don't care if this is my only goal for the rest of my life I will eventually reach this goal. I don't care how many time I mess up, or how many times I fall down. I am not entirely sure this is all I will need to do to reach my goal. I might need to set more resolutions later but this for now will do.

Yes, there is a part of me that wants to just be happy with where I am at, be happy maintain, be healthy, but the other part is screaming to continue on, and so I will.

Linda once said to me "That I will reach my weight goal the same way I trained and ran my marathon. I will put in all the training I need so that once I am there it won't seem so difficult. "

It is and was a light bulb moment for me. That is why I am not going to go a "DIET" just to reach this weight. I will continue to do it by slowly changing my way of life, so when I do get there if will seem like I know how to be there. I will continue to adjust my life now slowly and consistently, so that I will be able to be that weigh for the rest of my life.

I choose this journey, and come what may.

xoxo

Barb

Christmas Tips

Ok so a fast post for Christmas because who wants to be writing blogs when there are Christmas cards to still write.

I have been able to encourage my integrity this Christmas by doing the following things.

Instead of buying dollar store junk, or giving away unhealthy treats which everybody loves but lets face it nobody needs. We wrote meaningful Christmas cards and included the following in the card along with some of these pictures.

I had a friend go to Africa this last year, with the program Mother’s Without Borders. She will be returning to Africa in April. In leiu of Christmas Gift or unhealthy treats this year. We have donated money to this cause in your name, by purchasing this picture. I hope when you look at this picture it will fill you with warmth and remind us all of how truly blessed we already are.

“ ‘Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!’..... ‘At this time of rolling year,’ the spectre said, ‘I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to which it light would have conducted me!’” -Marley’s Ghost, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Best thing ever.

Next, was an idea that came from a sheet that Linda gave me. It said to enjoy the things we can only enjoy at Christmas. ie for me Sugar cookies, Toffiefay, Macadamia clusters, homemade slush. While still trying to employ the three bite rule on most things.

Next comes from this blog you HAVE to read it. I have been loving it. This is only some of what it said.

Either they always have to be "perfect", never straying from some restrictive ideal, or instead they pigeonhole themselves into some dietary regime or strategy.

Striving to be perfect is a sure way to first "fall off the wagon", and then "not get back on track", because who wants to be on an impossible track.

My thinking is that rather than try to be perfect, do your best, remembering of course that your best will vary, and some days, compared with others, objectively your best won't look very good, despite the fact that subjectively it's actually your best.
Don't strive for perfection, and don't live a pigeonhole, instead do and eat your best, and rather than worry that your best isn't perfect, worry if it is.

When I read this, it felt like, oh yeah I believe that too, but I had forgotten. It was great to be reminded.

Next, know your tools. Just as any trade person going to work knows which tools work best in which situations know your tools. Some of my tools this month have been watching Christmas movies, baths, lunch with friends, puzzles, sudko, ice water, learning to knit, teaching my daughter to sew, fancy herbal tea, wrapping gifts, and letting my children attack the treats from the neighbours first.

Last follow this link to watch a beautiful video, and hopeful this Christmas we will all remember to be wise.

Merry Christmas.

xoxoox

Barb

100 Grateful things

My dear friend on her blog(click her to see her list) took the Gratitude challenge offered in the December Ensign issue page 6.(click here to see the challenge.)

10 Physical Abilities you are grateful for.

1 Running 2 Typing

3 Sit ups 4 Driving a car

5 Smelling 6 Touch

7 Smiling 8 Seeing

9 Walking 10 Speaking

10 Material possessions you are grateful for.

1 Home 2 Yukon

3 Bed 4 Christmas tree

5 Hoodie 6 Necklace

7 Glasses 8 Socks

9 Computer 10 Deck

10 Living People you are grateful for.

1 Children 2 Brother and Sisters

3Mom 4 Sisters in Law

5 Dad 6 Brothers in Law

7Prophet 8 Mother in Law

9 Husband 10Father in Law

10 Deceased people your are grateful for.

1 Grandma Pilling 2 Grandpa Pilling

3 Grandpa Workman 4 Maycey Olsen

5 Jamie Merrill 6 Fern Walburger

7 Neil Shipley 8 Joseph Smith

9 Mormon 10 Richard Pilling

10 Things about nature that you are grateful for.

1 Sunrise 2 Sunset

3 Green Grass 4 Sparkly Snow

5 Mountains 6 Water

7 Wind 8 Trees

9 Animals 10 Clouds

10 things about today you are grateful for.

1 Having a friend like Kaylynn 2 Got to go visit with some sister's today

3 Got to talk to Jesse on the phone 4 Got to read some of the General Conference Ensign

5 Got to take a hot bath 6 Got to wear warm winter boots

7 Had an adventure getting stuck and then another adventure getting unstuck

8 Got to work a puzzle today

9 Got some laundry done

10 Got to read Christmas stories to my kids tonight.

10 places on earth you are grateful for.

1 Leavitt 2 Home

3 Temple 4 Bethlehem

5 Canada 6 Waterton

7 Utah 8 Community Pasture

9 Chief Mountain 10 Leavitt Cemetary

10 Modern inventions you are grateful for.

1 Dishwasher 2 Washing machine

3 Dryer 4 Oven

5 Microwave 6 Roaster

7 Phone 8 Cars

9 Furnace 10 Toilet

10 foods you are grateful for.

1 Strawberries 2 Mangos

3 Lettuce 4 Carrots

5 Chicken 6 Peanut butter

7 Mandarin Oranges 8 Sweet Red Peppers

9 Spinach 10 Onions

10 Things about the Gospel you are grateful for.

1 Peace that it brings me.

2 Saviour

3 Atonement

4 Scriptures

5 Living Prophet

6 Eternal Families

7 Temple

8 Young Women's program

9 Priesthood

10 Convenants

This was great for me to do, so I'll pass along the challenge....

What's your 100 grateful things??

xoxo

Barb

Fasting

I love fast Sunday’s. It was not always so. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I read this out of the Gospel Principles manual, “Fasting helps us gain strength of character. When we fast properly we will learn to control our appetites and passions. We are a little stronger by having proved to ourselves that we have self-control. If we teach our children to fast, they will develop the spiritual strength to over come greater temptations later in their lives.” (Pg. 147)

Ever since then I have looked forward to Fast Sunday and throughly enjoy the challenge of controlling my appetites and passions.

The rest of the week has been so challenging that I have even wondered a time or two if it is really worth it. Do I really want to be healthy this bad? Or do I just want to be obese?

I do just keep reminding myself that yes, yes I do want this. Things I am really struggling with is the prep time with food. I will always make the better choice when it is an option but making the option available is difficult lately. I actually do better when eating out. It is easy to choose a salad or soup or veggie meal.

This week Linda and I talk about making a physical “Tool Box”. I am finding this as difficult as the food options. I think because it is Christmas time and every penny counts. I sometimes get scared that I am just going to switch addictions from eating to spending to much money. Our finances are a mess as always, it makes me feel like I am obese again with money. At the same time the thought of tackling that with the weight issues are enough to put me through a 25L bucket of ice cream.

The sad thing is that Christmas is my time. I love Christmas. I am still loving Christmas. I did have a moment yesterday, Maggie was napping I was making sugar cookies for YW’s, I had the music playing it was snowing, I even let my big dog inside, I loved it. It was a really living in the moment. I had two cookies, one hot out of the oven the other with icing. Felt completely in control. I love that moment that was a true Christmas moment. I just wish it wasn’t such a fight to stay “in the moment” of all things and just deal with them, instead of running, hiding, and avoiding it with food. Anyway that is how it is rolling this week. I am fighting, but it is a good fight and I feel like I still have some armor on.

xoxo

Barb