Fasting

I love fast Sunday’s. It was not always so. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I read this out of the Gospel Principles manual, “Fasting helps us gain strength of character. When we fast properly we will learn to control our appetites and passions. We are a little stronger by having proved to ourselves that we have self-control. If we teach our children to fast, they will develop the spiritual strength to over come greater temptations later in their lives.” (Pg. 147)

Ever since then I have looked forward to Fast Sunday and throughly enjoy the challenge of controlling my appetites and passions.

The rest of the week has been so challenging that I have even wondered a time or two if it is really worth it. Do I really want to be healthy this bad? Or do I just want to be obese?

I do just keep reminding myself that yes, yes I do want this. Things I am really struggling with is the prep time with food. I will always make the better choice when it is an option but making the option available is difficult lately. I actually do better when eating out. It is easy to choose a salad or soup or veggie meal.

This week Linda and I talk about making a physical “Tool Box”. I am finding this as difficult as the food options. I think because it is Christmas time and every penny counts. I sometimes get scared that I am just going to switch addictions from eating to spending to much money. Our finances are a mess as always, it makes me feel like I am obese again with money. At the same time the thought of tackling that with the weight issues are enough to put me through a 25L bucket of ice cream.

The sad thing is that Christmas is my time. I love Christmas. I am still loving Christmas. I did have a moment yesterday, Maggie was napping I was making sugar cookies for YW’s, I had the music playing it was snowing, I even let my big dog inside, I loved it. It was a really living in the moment. I had two cookies, one hot out of the oven the other with icing. Felt completely in control. I love that moment that was a true Christmas moment. I just wish it wasn’t such a fight to stay “in the moment” of all things and just deal with them, instead of running, hiding, and avoiding it with food. Anyway that is how it is rolling this week. I am fighting, but it is a good fight and I feel like I still have some armor on.

xoxo

Barb