Why Barefoot??

WHY BAREFOOT????
Because being barefoot to me is being raw. Feeling every sharp rock, lush clover, spiky thistle, cushioned blade of grass, slimy covered stones, fragrant feathered flowers, cereal of sand, bead of water, element of litter, and the mash of mud.

Being Barefoot is the promise of prancing in the moonlight, leaping in the waves, running through a meadow, dancing on the porch, and doing all this while enduring a long journey to the end.

Monday, January 23, 2012

In the middle of a very muddy puddle.......




The Muddy Puddle
by Dennis Lee

I am sitting
In the middle
Of a rather Muddy Puddle,
With my bottom
Full of bubbles
and my rubbers
Full of Mud,

While my jacket
And my sweater
Go on slowly
Getting wetter
As I very
Slowly settle
To the Bottom
Of the Mud.

And I find that
What a person
With a puddle
Round his middle
thinks of mostly
In the muddle
Is the Muddi-Ness of Mud.

This is the best description of my life right now. Or I was even thinking that right now in my marathon race I am so tired that I am walking instead of running. Once in a while I will "run" to the next telephone pole or the mail box or for at least 20 fence posts, but then I walk again. Good news is that it is still moving forward. Still going the right way, I am not standing still or moving backwards. Even when you look closer at the picture above have you ever seen a more beautiful mud puddle, and just look around the corner no mud and soft green grass to run on.

I just keep telling everyone and myself that I am FINE. My friend Kaylynn told me that "fine" is a four letter word, it is true, but it is better than saying some other four letter words I would like to say.

It is not the exercise but always the food. I am so addicted to using food as a mood changer, that it brings me back to my knees. But the good news is that while I am already on my knees I figure there is no harm in praying, and then......My Father in Heaven sends so many blessings, love, and guiding hands to help me I think WHY can't you get on your knees before the food??? Maybe it wouldn't be the same? Maybe someday I can love my addiction because it brings me closer to God?

Mmmmmmm that day is not on my radar screen yet but there is Hope.

Here is just one of the many ways Heavenly Father has helped me this week, during my personal scripture study.

Mosiah 23:21-23

21 Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to achasten his people; yea, he trieth their bpatience and their faith.

22 Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his atrust in him the same shall be blifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people.

23 For behold, I will show unto you that they were brought intoabondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yea, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob.


I don't really feel like I am being "chastened" but I do believe my patience is being tried, and I do KNOW that none can deliver me but the Lord God.
xoxo
Barb

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5 comments:

  1. NanetteJanuary 23, 2012 at 10:51 PM

    Hi Barb, I teach fourth Sunday RS in my ward, and our topic this month was Elder Christoffersons talk on the Divine Gift of Repentance. So I googled the title, and your essay came up so I clicked on it, and I read it and started to weap. You said everything I have been feeling in my heart. You are an answer to a prayer for me. I found myself pouring over all your enteries, loving all the awesome quotes you have, understanding all to well where you were coming from. I am at the begining of the journey, feeling very much overwhelmed with the task before me. But very ready to get my "life" back. So, I know you are struggling where your at right now, but I wanted you to know how inspirational you are, even if your not where you want to be, to me you are amazing. We need to keep remembering that our bodies do not define us, that we are soo much more...we WILL ultimately get where we need to be. I have just felt strongly that I needed to write and say thank you. You never know who you will help, by your example and your testimony. All things in the Lords time...we just have to keep doing our part.

    Sincerely
    Nanette-- Eastern Oregon
    nettiebowles@gmail.com

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  2. Becky JonesJanuary 24, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    You know where I am at and everyday I struggle to stay away from the"mud". It is so great to know that we are in this battle together!!! It is always the food for me too. I am actually great at fasting and I think I could go forever not eating if that were possible. BUT once I start eating for the day my minds starts thinking of all of the wonderful possibilities. I love the scriptures that you mentioned. I too need to be thankful for this trail as it has brought me to my knees and to the Temple more than anything else in my life. Keep moving forward and we'll do this together!!!

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  3. Dixie DeeJanuary 25, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    Like the poem Barb. You are doing better than you think, and moving in the right direction is what we are asked to do, it doesn't matter how fast we move as long as it is in the right direction, the Atonement takes care of the rest!
    Ya Barb!

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  4. KaylynnJanuary 26, 2012 at 3:16 PM

    Wow- you are famous that your blog came up on a google search. And what a nice comment from a random lady in Oregon. And I am famous because my name is in your blog. Enjoy the mud:) Then you will enjoy getting washed off again.

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  5. bdz132January 30, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    It is good that you recognize when you are in the mud. Too many times I get stuck in the mud and don't realize it. It comes on slowly and then one day it dawns on me that I'm no longer moving forward in life. At that point it is hard to get moving again. I need to be better at recognizing the mud before I am totally stuck.

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