Church Talk on Agency July 2011

I first have a challenge for all of you, go home today and prepare a talk on agency. It doesn’t matter that you never give it, write it in a journal, put it on your blog. The amount of information, or talks given on agency in the last 10 years is absolutely astounding to me. It gave me goosebumps as I browsed through the information in preparation for this talk. It seems that we are being heavily reminded about the gift, power, and responsibility of our agency as children of God.

So the first thing is our gift of agency that we received from our Heavenly Father and older brother Jesus Christ. I call it a gift because it has been brought and paid for with the heavy price of first Gethsemone and finally on the cross at Golgotha.

Pres David O. McKay said:

“Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.”

This gift was decided upon in our premortal life. We have already heard this month about the War in Heaven so I will only touch briefly on it. But it is crazy to me, when you think about it, HEAVEN. As far as we know there was only one war, and that war was “primarily over how and in what manner the plan of salvation would be administered to the forthcoming human family upon the earth. The issues involved such things as agency, how to gain salvation, and who should be the Redeemer.” (Bible dictionary) This was important enough to destroy our Heavenly Peace with a War. This gift was important enough for our Heavenly Father to cast out 1/3 of his children, so the rest of us could have it. And so it is that Agency the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and to act for ourselves and not be acted upon. Is essential to the plan of salvation with it we are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death according to the captivity and power of the devil. (Elder Robert D. Hales)

I have a testimony of the gift of agency. That testimony has been tremendously strengthened over the last two years of my life as I have used it to help myself become healthier through weight loss. I testify that there was a war in heaven,and that The warfare is continued in mortality in the conflict between right and wrong, between the gospel and false principles, etc. The same contestants and the same issues are doing battle, and the same salvation is at stake.

Satan has developed tools of addiction of every kind to try and remove agency from our lives. I am so grateful that my eyes have been opened and I can see my fight a little more clearly.

Which brings me to the power of agency. Pres. Boyd K. Packer related the following.

The old saying “The Lord is voting for me, and Lucifer is voting against me, but it is my vote that counts” describes a doctrinal certainty that our agency is more powerful than the adversary’s will. Agency is precious. We can foolishly, blindly give it away, but it cannot be forcibly taken from us.

One way we can give away our agency is to not have our desires in line with our eternal persepctive.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated:

Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.

Elder Richard G. Scott put it this way:

We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day.

Using our agency everyday, to meditate on scriptures, to focus our desires on our health, family, church responsibilities, and fulfilling our mission here on earth gives us a power to thwart the devils temptations.

Again Elder Scott says

“You cannot be passive in life or in time the natural man will undermine your efforts to live worthily. You become what you do and what you think about.”

In Pres Mckay’s book “Man may know for Himself” is found one of my favourite quotes.

“Every man and every person who lives in this world wields an influence, whether for good or for evil. It is not what he says alone; it is not alone what he does. It is what he is. Every man, every person radiates what he or she really is. . . . It is what we are and what we radiate that affects the people around us.

He then continues to encourage us.

“As individuals, we must think nobler thoughts. We must not encourage vile thoughts or low aspirations. We shall radiate them if we do. If we think noble thoughts; if we encourage and cherish noble aspirations, there will be that radiation when we meet people, especially when we associate with them.’ (Man May Know for Himself, p. 108.)

Maybe all of us need to consider for a while today what exactly our influence is? This of course where our agency steps in we all have influence but how are we using it. I hope it is one of love, of positive reinforcement, one of forgiveness, one of humility for what my Heavenly Father has given to me. That is my desire.

Back again to Elder Oakes

“When we have a vision of what we can become, our desire and our power to act increase enormously. If our righteous desires are sufficiently intense they will motivate us to cut and carve ourselves free from addictions and other sinful pressures and priorities that prevent our eternal progress. We should remember that righteous desires cannot be superficial, impulsive or temporary. They must be heartfelt, unwavering and permanent.”

I have a testimony of the power of agency, just like David hurled his stones at Goliath to defeat him we to can hurl our righteous desires in Satan’s face to ultimately defeat him.

And that brings us to the responsibility of agency.

Pres. Monson said:

“with the right of choice come the responsibility to choose. We cannot be neutral; there is no middle ground.”

I have to remind myself quite often that we are not here on earth for Recess. We are in the exam room. We are being tested. So ultimately life is hard. So what I have decided is that we get to choose our hard. Being a member of this church is hard, chances are if your here long enough you will be throughly offended, hurt, and even sometimes ignored.

But as Elder Neil L. Anderson put it

“The Lord said ‘Thou mayest choose for thyself.’ I promise you, as you choose not to be offended or ashamed, you will feel His love and approval. You will know that you are becoming more like Him.

Will we understand everything? Of course not. We will put some issues on the shelf to be understood at a later time.

Will everything be fair? It will not. We will accept some things we cannot fix and forgive others when it hurts. Will we feel separated on occasion from those around us? Absolutely. Will we be astonished at the times to see the anger a few feel toward the Lord’s church and their efforts to steal the struggling faith of the weak? Yes, but this will not deter the growth or destiny of the Church , nor need it impede the spiritual progress of each of us as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

I have a testimony that we can use our agency to react to all of life situations. I wake up every morning and choose to be happy. Sometimes I have to make that choice every five minutes in the morning, and sometimes I forget that I made that choice, but I know that happiness and peace is a choice that I can make. So we all have a responsibility to choose our hard. Being happy is hard, being grumpy is hard, forgiving people is hard, holding a grudge is hard. So choose your hard. As we do this our character is built.

Elder Richard G. Scott said:

“Strong moral character results from consistent correct choices in the trials and testing of life. Such choices are made with trust in things that are believed and when acted upon are confirmed...

He continues.

With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what is His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage. Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. That causes your faith to increase and your character to grow.”

I now am so grateful for the gift, power, and responsibility of agency. It was not always so, I remember being a little girl and thinking “ really satan’s plan was that everybody got back that doesn’t seem so bad.” But I think President Monson put it best. When he said;

“We know that we had our agency before this world was and that Lucifer attempted to take it away from us. he had no confidence in the principle of agency or in us and argued for imposed salvation. He insisted that with his plan none would be lost, but he seemed not to recognize - or perhaps not to care - that in addition, none would be any wiser, any stronger, any more compassionate, or any more grateful if his plan were followed.”

Oh I am overwhelmed at the love that my Heavenly Father has for me, that would put a plan in place so that I can become wiser, stronger, be filled with more compassion and become eternally grateful for all of His gifts to me. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

xoxo

Barb

(Remember to click on the highlighted versions to see where the sources are)

Dear Self

I am writing to tell you that I forgive you!

Yes I forgive you for

*the hotdogs

*the smores

*the cake

*the muffins

*the licorice

*the granola bars

*the ice cream

*the chocolate chips

*the cup cakes

*the lack of food journaling

and even

* the extra five pounds

I understand that you are stressed about a lot of things. I understand that you are trying to "enjoy" your summer. I want you to remember and know that I love you! I want you to know and remember that you are a daughter of God, and because of this you always have his power, love and ability to repent with you! Remember to be nice to yourself, remember to treat yourself the way you treat others including your children. Remember you are important. Remember:

The power behind you is greater than the problem in front of you.

Get up and get back on! You can do this, and remember that you want to do this! Please help yourself, your the only one that can. Keep asking your Heavenly Father to help you. He has helped us in the past and He will help us again. We can do this! We will do this! We are doing this! Love you so much!

xoxo

Barb

It has been a busy month....

So maybe these will explain why I haven't been posting very often.

Started a new tradition picked up the kids and went hiking on the last day of school. We had a blast.

Ran the Cardston Kids Marathon with all of my children. So fun and such a great party. Click on the name to find out more.

Went hiking up "Bear's Hump" as a whole family, I carried most of the water in my back pack. Wasn't even tired felt like I could have done it three more times. That has never happened in my life. I feel stronger than ever.

Went camping in Waterton with 3 out of my 5 siblings to celebrate our wonderful Country. I love living in Canada.

Training is going good, I had a hard, 12 mile run last saturday, but I finished it. I will run farther than I have every ran before this Saturday, 14 miles. Wow! I am deliciously excited.

I am a little frustrated that I am back up to 177. I have been there since April, but really I am too excited about the rest of my life to focus on not losing weight right now. I know that if I stick to the program it will come off, eventually, and I am feeling so good right now, that if it takes another year to lose the last twenty pounds so be it!

xoxo

Barb

Nurturing does not equal food.

I need some help. I am currently constructing a list of ways to nurture my children without food. So I need idea's on how to do this, and as one of my sisters says "The best idea is a lot of ideas."

So far I have come up with

Let them help me clean or clean with them.

Read a book.

Make a play fort.

Go on a walk.

Do their hair.

Listen to them.

Where is this coming from??? Well I found a deep hidden belief last week. The belief is that when I want to take care of something I feed it. You can see that for a food addict this is a belief that needs to be change or rewired. And of course that takes me back to one of my favourite quotes.

"How to change; Change your THINKING, which will change your FEELINGS, which will change your, ACTIONS which will change your LIFE."

So in order to change or rewire this belief, I am starting a list of ways I can nurture not only my children but other people in general. I believe by having a physical list to look at will help me change my Thinking and so on.

I have also started a new practice. When I am doing an activity that is suppose to be nurturing to myself I actually say it out loud.

"I am nurturing myself right now by................."

Some of the activities have been going for a walk, taking a bath in the morning, turning on music, sitting out on the porch, reading a page of a book. All of this nurturing talk reminded me of another quote.

"You do not have to earn your worth you brought it with you. Nothing you do or do not do will affect your worth. It does not depend on your family of origin your appearance your performance your position or your husbands position or anything else."

I think I got this from my sweet Mother-in-law. The thing I love about this quote is that I feel like it gives me permission to nurture myself. I don't have to earn anything, I have already brought it with me. Now that doesn't mean I don't set goals and reward myself for accomplishing them. But I can just randomly nurture myself any time. In fact I am really good at nurturing myself, I just used to do it with food. Hence why I weighed 285 pounds. I just need to remember to nurture myself in other ways now. I know, I know, the food is a really convenient, easy access way to do that, but it wasn't and isn't really working for me. So we are going to program other things in there.

Mean while the marathon training is coming along. Ran a total of 19 miles last week broken into 3, 5, 3, and 8. This week I will run a total of 21 miles. The mileage is starting to add up, my body is feeling it. I have decided to use the train of thought that my body is getting strong. If I wasn't feeling it then it wouldn't be getting stronger, so I need to feel some pain in order for my body to get stronger.

I have also constructed two mental video's one of my favourite runs and the other of what it will be like to finish the marathon. I keep practicing running them through my head. I have also used this in my weight loss. I have made a mental video of me turning down dessert, food that I really don't want, even just enjoying the healthy food, or good portion sizes of food. I have made video's of times when I have felt in control of the food addiction that I have. I am currently working on a video of when I reach my goal weight of 155. The way I make these video's is by journaling the scenes. If it is one that has happened I write down what I was wearing, what was the smell, how did I feel, who was with me, where was I, how did I get out of the situation? If it is one that hasn't happened I do the same thing only a little more general like I will be wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I also try and focus more on the feelings. I just made these this week so I will try to remember to report back to you on how they are doing.

The other thing that helped me last week was something that Linda said. I was whining to her about how hard it is right now because I don't really need to lose weight but I want to. I said it seems like it was easier when I needed to lose weight because I was unhealthy it was dangerous and I wanted to be there for my kids. Linda said nope she said the "Want" is way more important than the "Need". I found out last week that, is completely true. I haven't really wanted to lose weight in a while. I wanted to enjoy my birthday, I wanted to finish the 1/2 marathon. But last week I wanted to lose weight and I did. So it is a interesting question to ask yourself. If you really really want something, what hidden agenda is keeping you from it? It is never easy to get something you want. You will have to change a lot of comfortable things in order to get it, but you and Heavenly Father will work it out, and maybe move a few mountains in the mean while. Remember you are never alone. If you have prayed and received an answer that your "want" is a righteous desire, then put every energy you have into obtaining that which the Lord will provide for you. No matter how hard, or how long, you only fail when you give up trying.

xoxo

Barb

The rest of the story

I have never enjoyed a race more than that of last Saturday. Didn't get up until 6:30, ate a good breakfast, oatmeal, and Gatorade. Brother picked up my daughter and I, left the rest of the kids home because my dear sweet sister was at my house, so I didn't have worry about my kids.

Got there said hello to hubby, siblings, and friends. Then lined up for the race, and I didn't know there was a special lady there to shoot the starting pistal. Her name is Lori Morrison, I remember Lori from my youth as one of those women who ran long distances, she was one of the first people to plant the question in my head, "Could I do that?"

And just like that we were off, for me the first part of the race is always daunting, so I often have to think one foot in front of the other one foot in front of the other. I had previously decided to not turn on the music until mile 3, I don't why, maybe to give me something to look forward too?

We come to the first water station, and my friends Jim and Anita are there. Jim and Anita are also on the way to choosing a healthier lifestyle. Last year Anita and I were at Stake Young Women's camp together and she climbed Table Mountain the best she could, it was one of the most inspiring things I have ever seen. They are also good friends with my in-laws and are the kind of friends that help you out in a pinch. I pass by, they give me Gatorade and good cheer. My brother David darts ahead, this is his game plan the whole time, he will run at his pace which is a lot faster than mine and then walk for a while until I catch up to him in which we compare what is hurting and who is at the water stations, and what music we are listening too. I love him beyond measure. He has always made it very easy for me to picture my other "Brother", and how he would give his life for me.

At mile two, is a heart break. It is Jesse's cousin manning the water station, her mother passed away from cancer over three years ago and she is the reason that the race was started to raise funds for cancer. I think about Aunt Karen, how she actually in some way is still fighting her battle with cancer, because of this race, only in she is doing it in our Heavenly Home. Jocelyn her lovely, smilie, and humours daughter gives me Gatorade and encouragement.

Mile three, music on, and another good friend, Kim Weston. She actually leaves her water station and runs to me, grabs my hand as we both cry and run toward the water station. She was training for this run, but got hurt which put her out. She was also best friends with my Aunt Karen, and helped her through the end of her days. Her daughter hands me Gatorade and smiles cheerfully. I take careful sips, toss it in the white garbage bucket, and look ahead. Only to see my darling sister-in-law snapping photos at the top of the next hill. She has my job this year I am usually the one taking photos, I try to keep my eyes open, only to remember that I am wearing sun glasses. But the smile is easy for the picture. I can't believe I am really doing this. I am here running this 1/2 marathon, instead of being on sidelines behind a camera. Oh thank you, Heavenly Father for my body, thank you for your help, love, and commitment to me. I could not have done it without you. We get the first pass by of my brother in law who has his truck full of kids who are all yelling out the window "Go, Go, Go!"

Mile four is a reminder of how quickly life can change. Also, that what every happens to you, you always have the choice of how to respond to it. At this water station are two relatives, one who has just finished another round of Chemotherapy, and Aunt June. The first has worked all his life to provide for his family. I imagine he also wanted to retire and be the Grandpa he always wanted to be, his goals now might include seeing his children married? He is jovial, I have never seen him without a smile on his face. Aunt June is one of the most positive people I know, and also has been through more heartache than I can imagine some of which includes loss of a husband, and family. I believe that she chooses every day to get out of bed, and put a smile on her face, she chooses to serve others in any way she can. It reminds me of an experience I had while my daughter Sara was in the Children's Hospital in the Oncology unit. There was another mom there with her son who was receiving Chemo, I attempted to make conversation with her and she shot me down big time. Her mother over heard the whole thing and said to me after "Please forgive her, she isn't dealing very well right now." Of course, who could blame her, she has more right than anyone else for being bitter. But then I meet another mom, who choose to take the other way and stay positive through the whole thing and actually find ways to help serve others while she and her daughter were there. And for the first time, I realize happiness, joy, peace, they are choices, not just feelings or things that happen to you. I am reminded that I choose these things too and some of those choices have brought me here running on a black top pavement toward a goal that I have worked very hard to succeed at. My brother in law has parked the truck with the kids sitting on the tailgate all cheering for everybody but they get louder for their Uncle David and I. I wish I had a camera but can't imagine the extra weight.

Mile five I am met by an old boss who, has given so much for our little community. He has worked most of his life to help our community with recreation activities to help keep us as fit as we would allow ourselves to become. I imagine when I was working with him I probably weighed anywhere from 230 to 250lbs. I look at him as he hands me Gatorade and say would you ever imagined I could or would do this?? He smiles his darling smile and giggles and little, and before he answers I am off again. Here I run into my Gen who is taking pictures of me, I yell at her "What are you doing your suppose to be at a conferance?" She yells back "I am going, but first I have to take these beautiful pictures of you. You are doing so great!" I love her, she is married to my friend Nathan that I mentioned later. I love it when your friends marry people that make you like them more. (Sorry Nate but it is true.)

Mile six at this point I have run across the highway a few times to give high fives to friends of my who are already on their way home, I am yelling and cheering for those on there way home. This is the great thing about this sport, yeah is competitive but the competition is between you the road, and your beliefs it rarely involves other human beings. I see my childhood friend Nathan who started training for this race three years ago because his brother in law was going through cancer. I am pretty sure he has run every year. You should check out his blog by clicking on his name. I think about his journey, and I am once again amazed at the abilities of the human spirit and body combined can do. I see my sister in law the one that took me to Boston with her, and love her so much and only want the best things in life for her, I am so grateful that for the moment she is living close. I also pass my brother in law Terry but I don't recognize him in time for a high five, I am delighted he is running today it is his first time. I imagine he must need the release because he has been at the children's hospital a lot lately with his son Rafe I hope that this race can be somewhat healing for him. David and I are running together when we see our sister Pam she is cruising, we dart across the highway again for another high five.

At this water station is a long time friend, well actually I went to school with his son, but I would still consider him a friend. He is an honest to goodness cowboy. The kind that might not wear wranglers all the time but has put his heart and soul into working the land and raising cattle. These really are a vanishing breed, he is always one of my favourite people to see anywhere, and always has a smile waiting for me just like he does now as he hands me some Gatorade. I feel like he is proud of me and what I am doing but also a little worried just like my Dad might be. I think he offers me a way out of running the rest of race but I can't really remember. It has started to rain, but I don't seem to notice, or if I do my mental training of "Hello rain come and run with me today" has kicked in so it hasn't really registered. I am at the turn around and start heading for home "Wow this has been fun so far I am not feeling anything I feel great" I think to myself. I dart across the road to tell the lady behind me how proud I am of her and how great she is doing she smiles and says thank you I am sure she thinks I am a crackpot. But oh well it made me feel good.

Mile seven comes and it is the Ranchers wife, I say to her "Are you surprised to see me?" she laughs and says of course not. I take the Gatorade and keep going. Mile eight seems to take forever the wind has picked up and it seems to be pushing me around a little, I start to feel tired for the first time. David has picked up speed he is way ahead right now. I start to self talk "Mile eight that is bull crap you just ran ten miles last week you are not tired at mile eight if you want to be tired you can be tired at mile 11. Ok I say, I am guess I am not tired."

David is waiting for me at the water station at mile eight but he is stretching out his calves, I yell at him without really slowing down, "Is that serious or are you just waiting for me?" he doesn't really say anything I am concerned for him. At this water station is my old boss again because his dear sweet wife has decided to walk with the person who is in last place that makes me want to cry. But she is exactly like that, she is one of the angels of quiet service. I believe these people will have the biggest mansions in heaven. I feel renewed by my self talk that I am not tired. I start to notice the traffic going by. I try and think of what they are thinking. Are they annoyed that they have to slow down a little? Are they in awe that I would ever think to accomplish such a task? Are they wondering what would ever posses a person to run this far in the rain? Are they inspired? Do they get the question planted in their head "Could I ever do that?" Uncle Barry drives by honks unrolls his window, asks "Do you want a ride?" I smile and shake my head no. "Do you want a chocolate bar?" I laugh and say "Not yet!"

Mile nine is windy, cold, and more rain. I get to the water station with Cousin Dick and Aunt June. Cousin Dick has brought donuts, he is so cute, the thought of eating one makes me sick. Aunt June is in the truck so I go and knock on the window. She then gets out of the truck (I didn't mean for that to happen) she gives me a big hug and tells me I am doing great.

The thing that really gets me to mile ten is that I know at the top of that hill I can see the Temple. The favourite primary song wanders over my thoughts as I run.

I love to see the Temple

I am going there some day

to feel the holy spririt

to listen and to pray

for the Temple is a house of God

a place of love and beauty

I'll prepared myself while I am young

this is my scared duty.

I feel extremely blessed to have grown up and live so close to a Temple. I am again so grateful for all those people in my life who have helped me prepare myself while I was young. I am reminded how my body is a Temple and a house for my spirit, and how it has been prepared for this moment. The tiredness is gone. I see Kim again at this water station she again runs out to meet me, tells me she is proud of me. I grab some Gatorade, and keep going. I do see the Temple and the corner for the last couple of miles home. I don't know how to explain my next friend that cycles by to you, he loves biking as much as I love running, he and I struggle with food addiction, he is an athlete with other commitments, and is working very hard at trying to balance things out. I always feel connected to him.

Mile eleven, my sister, sister in law, and brother in law drive by with all our kids. There are hands, hollers, and hoorays failing out each window. I love them, they love me, I feel like a superhero/Olympian. They make a couple more rounds. I come again to my cousin Jocelyn, at this water station she hands me water and smiles. I am distracted because the cheering convoy is parked around the corner, and I am wondering why? As I turn the corner for the last 2.1 miles my sister Pam jumps out of the car, and starts running with us. Yes she is already done the race and has come back to run the rest with David and I. I tell her she is crazy, I would love to cry, and tell her thank you, but it is not in me right now. For the first time David mentions that we are on track to finish under three hours, my heart skips a beat, which is kind of dangerous to do at this point. I lift my head, I really don't know how to feel. I am exhilarated at the thought of finishing under three hours but also reminding myself that what ever happens I will love myself. Another friend cycles up, I keep trying to get to know her better, but other things get in the way. She too is an athlete with other commitments right now. She tells me to stand up straighter, and I do. I tell her I am doing great and don't hurt anywhere, she says "Well then get moving it isn't a race unless it hurts." I tell her to go tell my husband I want a kiss at the end. She says ok and zooms off.

Water station 12 is alone, it seems fitting, I take water telling myself that I can drink the whole cup if I want. I tell David and Pam that I am going to walk to the next approach and then run. David looks at his watch and says "@#$!, no we are going to make this thing under three hours." I look at him, throw down my cool drink of water and start running again. It is us, the three amigo's trotting down the highway.

We turn the corner for home, I choke back a gasp of tears, I increase the length of my stride I will myself to get there, I will myself to go faster. All of sudden there is my sister-in law, with my nephew Rafe who runs out to me for a high five, he gives me strength, go faster. There is my mother in law, "Good Job!", she gives me strength, go faster. I feel it, I feel the running blood rushing through my veins, it feels like I sprint to the finish line. There wild amounts of applause. I get my plush towel. I stop smiling only to realize that my face is frozen in a smile. I am finished. I get hugs, hand shakes, and hails. My old boss hugs me, "Did I ever think it was possible of course I thought it was possible." After I demand a hug and a kiss from Jesse I head inside. Barry is there with a spread of runners delight. I head for the hot chocolate, I tell Barry, thank you and give him a hug. I want to tell him I am waiting for him. I am waiting for Barry to be ready to start his journey. I will continue to wait, because if there is anything I have learned it is that no matter what I do, I do not want to take away anyone's agency to do miraculous things for them selves. And that is the rest of the story ,well almost.

My sisters, brother, and their spouses are all in the gym with our rowdy kids running a muck. I am on a different plane.

I am peaceful.

xoxo

Barb

P.S. If I have quoted you wrong or missed you in this post I am sorry but that is how I remembered it and heavens knows my memory isn't the best. Please forgive me.

13.1 (2nd)

I am finding this post hard to get started on. So let's just start.

THE RACE

It was everything I hoped it would be, fun, challenging, fun, wet, fun, windy, and really fun. Some people wouldn't think that you could have fun running 13.1 miles. But those people don't have my life.

2.53 hours

alone, just you, the road, Heavenly Father, some wind, some rain, some music, a brother that comes and goes, a sister that goes too fast, some friends who help you along. Really there is nothing else I would rather be doing. Not only that but improving on your time by

22 minutes.

Now for the pictures.....

Jesse and I pre-race, it was the first time I had seen him that morning since he was gone by 5am to help set up for the race.

My sister Pam, my brother David, and me pre-race.

My brother-in-law Terry, my sister-in-law Kate, and me pre-race.

Don't see me at the starting line, that's right because I always line up at the back. The guy standing in front is my darling Father-in-law, and I could blog about him all day long because he is the one of the greatest, honest, and kindest men I know.

Yep, there you see me in the far right grey back, and orange sleeves. Yes the very last one. But I will have you know that I did not come in last.

My brother Dave and I, yeah we pretty much had that much fun the whole way.


Totally sprinted to the end, I am sure it looked like slow motion to everybody else but it felt really fast.


AHH, the plush towel, will ya look at that smile you can't pay money to get that smile.


Getting a hug and a smooch from my adorable hubby/race official. I promise to write more about it soon.

xoxox

Barb

It's Snowing

Really, I woke up to snow today, May 27, 2011.
In 24 hours the gun will go off.
Now might be a good time to remember why I am doing this. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Training for and running a marathon (and 1/2 marathon) is not a single event; rather, it is an experience. It is a discovery of self that will forever change your perceptions, perspectives, priorities, and possibilities. You will meet yourself at what you thought were the boundaries of your potential and endurance and watch in awe as they evaporate to reveal only open expanse. To know that the only boundries in life are those which we create ourselves is a discovery which can not be taught - IT MUST BE EXPERIENCED. For once you have seen the view from the mountain top, living a life of voluntary blindess is no longer an option.

(The Non-runner's Marathon Trainer pg132-133)


Oh yeah that is why.
I am going to write it here and think it all day tomorrow. I am prepared for this event, and I will complete it. I will break through any boundaries put in my way to accomplish this goal.

I CAN, I WILL, I AM.

I CAN, I WILL, I AM.

xoxo

Barb
Please pray for no snow and no wind!

Getting nervous and as promised the Resolution Run

Just in time for the first check. On December 31. 2010, I ran a 5k called The Resolution Run. While running this run I chanted 155, Legacy 1/2, Pocatello full. On the eve of fulfilling one of those goals I have finally finished this video. Hope you all enjoy.

xoxox

Barb

PS. Totally went to the Doctor this today to get antibiotics for a nasty sinus/ear thing. Really hope I can get rid of this before the race. I have to tell you I am a little nervous.

Running my own race

It was my birthday along with mother's day on Sunday. I love my family very much but knowing that they would not be able to fulfill my needs, or wants, I took off with some lovely women to Calgary for Time Out for Women. It was just what I needed. My favourite speaker of the weekend was Laurel Christensen (click on her name to take you to her blog). She is so great. She talked about deciding what you want, and then asking the Lord if it is the right thing to want, and then praying about it with your whole soul. Ok but she did it way better and cuter than anything I have ever seen. I also identified with her because she is running her first 1/2 marathon on June 11. She is darling and you have to check her out!

Speaking of running 1/2 marathons, AHHHHHH only 14 days until the Legacy 1/2 marathon. The nine miles I ran last this morning and it was windy and cold and hard I cried as Jesse drove me to the drop off point and I cried on the couch when I was finished. Last week was 8 miles and they were so great, that I was really excited about this race. Since Jesse and I have kind of helped with it since the beginning, I kind of feel like I am running my own race. I have wanted to run this race every since my wonderful Father in Law started it three years ago, and so now it is a dream come true. And the first of my New Year's resolutions to accomplish this year. Running a 1/2 marathon in May in Canada means you have got some heart because the training weather has not been nice.

Got to get the mileage in next year I am getting a treadmill!

Anyway the more I think about crossing the finish line with a lot of people I love and admire being there the more excited I am about the race. I picture myself really enjoying it, stoping at each water station to say hello to neighbours and friends and running on my own road, toward my mountains, and my home town. I feel excited, confident, and peaceful. I haven't quite put the whole metaphor together yet but there is something to be said about running your own race.

Feeling like this post is a little weak but it is all I have time for.

xoxo

Barb

Kind of Great

Thanks to the Grace of God I am.

Breathing

Laughing

Smiling

Crying

Walking

Running

Cooking

Eating

Loving

Listening

Talking

Sharing

Teaching

Learning

Hopping

Living

Reading

Typing

I am feeling grateful this week. My life isn't perfect but it is very good. My eating isn't perfect but it is very good. My goal for the next week is too have one perfect food day. Meaning just eating good things all day! Today started off so great with a 4 mile run, a smoothie, and soup, followed by a brancrisp with 1/2 tsp of Nutella. Strawberries, some cheese, two crackers, gum, a sugar free candy, more soup, a bun and it is only one o'clock. But there is always tomorrow.

I feel as tho I am pursuing my weight loss goal on a tread mill right now, totally doing it put one foot in front of the other and making it happen, but really not going anywhere. But I do have complete faith that it will eventually come. I am also focused on the Legacy 1/2 Marathon that is at the end of this month. I am feeling good about it but not super confident. It is only my 2nd 1/2 Marathon I am kinda of interested to see how it will pan out.

I signed the kids and I up of the Cardston Kids Marathon. They seem excited about it. Last night we marked off 1/2 a mile for them so they run out to the marker and back so then they know they have done their mile for the day!

I am excited about Canada's new majority Conservative government. I have to say I was very disheartened over this last election, I really thought nothing was going to change. Therefore I didn't do as much election stuff as I have in the past. But as Jesse and I watched the results come in last night I was elated. I have great hopes at what the government can do now. I am also quite relieved at the number of seats that the BQ have, I strongly feel that this is great for my Wonderful nation.

I had a great Easter Break in Utah, visiting sisters's and parents. I will post pictures and talk about that later. Anyway doing kind of great.

xoxo

Barb