This is stolen from another blog but I love it, and it is just what we all need on the Easter week off! Good luck, this week, I am nervous, and anxious about getting through it unscathed. My favourite thing said in this letter is "FALLING ISN'T FAILING." We only fail when we give up and don't try anymore, something is better than nothing, head up , shoulders straight, one foot in front of the other.

Dear friend,

I just wanted you to know that I see how much you’ve been struggling lately. I know things have been difficult, but I wanted to remind you of a few things…

One, you’re awesome.

Two, this path you’re on, it’s rough-and-tumble stuff. One day you feel like you’re on top of the mountain, the next you’re rolling back down in a out-of-control somersault. And we both know that the climb back isn’t so much treacherous as it is tiresome. Some days we just get so darn weary with it all…

That said, look at how far you’ve come. You may think it’s nothing to celebrate, what you’ve achieved thus far, but I say every step… every freakin’ step… is worthy of being celebrated.

Three, falling isn’t failing. You’ll have bad days here and there; we all have setbacks that shake our confidence and exhaust our resolve, but I’m convinced that you’reconvinced that you know what to do now, and more importantly, what’s at stake. Going back to the way things were simply isn’t an option.

Four, it’s all worth it in the end. I know you question whether that’s true or not, but I promise you that it is. It may seem so far away right now, but every step forward brings you closer to where you want to be.

This is a long journey we’re on; don’t be afraid to lean on your friends from time to time.

And lastly, have I told you lately that you’re awesome?

Take care of yourself.

xoxo

Barb

The wisdom of friends

I had a good friend, go home to her maker, and her sweetheart this last week. I have been thinking about her and all the things she taught me. I remember that she has a painting in her "fancy room," of the Ten Virgins. This parable has always meant a lot to me. It can be interpreted in many different ways. I was thinking of it in two different ways, one way was about being prepared, and the other way was about those five virgins who could not share their oil.

When Heavenly Father created women He created them to be a help meet which means, a helper suited to, worthy of, or corresponding to him. He did a very good job. I don't know of a women out there who don't have a desire to help some one. Satan takes this wonderful value and twists it to his own use. He gets some women so caught up in helping or feeling like they are just never doing enough that they start to really feel bad about them selves. I am such a woman as this. I love helping other people. I love helping people in my community, my ward, my country. I love helping my family, but I feel like I can never do enough. Another good friend, said to me " we cannot fill everybody's lamps." Talk about a stop me in my tracks moment. I found huge relief in that statement. I can tell people how I am losing weight or how I find peace and salvation in the scriptures, and by attending the temple, but I cannot physically fill their lamps for them they have to do that themselves. Everybody has their own journey to fulfill. Knowing how unique, hard, joyful, hard, stupendous, and hard my journey has been I wouldn't want it given to me or I wouldn't want it given to anybody. It wouldn't mean as much.

Where ever you are, whatever your doing now on your journey, rejoice, because it is YOUR journey. No one else can do it for you, and when you have success you will understand that you wouldn't want anyone else to do it for you.

The other is being prepared, my lovely friend, was prepared to home.

"....but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear"

-D&C 38:30

Realizing that I just posted a blog on this whole subject I will be brief.

The only way to fill our lamps and vessels and keep them filled so we can be prepared is to do it consistently, drop by drop. The wisdom of consistency is all around us. How does a lake get filled? Drop by drop. How does the snow melt drop by drop. How do we become what we want to be? By consistently being who we want to become. (Richard G. Scott) Thanks Theodora, I love you always.

Good week until this weekend, but today is Monday and I am going to do better.

xoxox

Barb

Standing after Arrows

"The arrow seen before cometh less rudely"

-Divine Comedy - by Dante Alighieri

I have heard this quote a couple of times, this past year, but for some reason it hit me today. (No pun intended)

The fact of the matter is I get cocky. I have dodged arrows and tried to prepared myself against most arrows that are going to be thrown my way. But then arrow, which I have seen before, in fact EVERY MONTH, (sorry men) comes. I really think that, if I see the arrow coming than I can avoid the arrow. But that is really not what this quote says. It doesn't say if you seen it coming you can avoid it, it says if you see it coming it might not be so hard. You are still going to get hit with the arrow. It will still pierce you. It will still hurt. You will still have to treat the wound. But maybe just maybe, I can have the alcohol swabs and dressing ready to roll, so the wound won't feaster and take over my life for two weeks. Ok so now that I understand it maybe next month won't be so hard.

Meanwhile, I have stopped doing P90X, because I have started training for the Legacy 1/2 Marathon on May 28, 2011. I am using this training schedule, which is only three days a week, so that means the other three, I am still doing ABs, and Kettlebells. Jesse passed his HKC a couple of weeks ago in Seattle, and so we have been setting up workshops, and he has his first client already. I have to say I miss the intensity of the P90X.

I have been struggle lately with Food, just eating too many treats, so I cleared out the house again. It is funny how they just keep sneaking in seriously it is worse than having mice. But it is always very powerful feeling to throw them in the garbage.

I have been thinking a lot this week of my Mom and Dad again, I miss them. So glad they are serving our Heavenly Father but still missing them. I was remembering one time when I was riding my horse Dandy, and all of sudden he started bucking on me. I was terrified, and held on for life. Once he was done I started climbing off, and I have never seen my father move so quickly in his life, he came running across the pasture yelling at me to "GET BACK ON!" I was crying very hard, and when he reached me he dusted off my jeans and put me back in the saddle and had me ride around a little longer, then get off. I have to say that has been one of the most important experiences in my life. Every time I have physically,or emotionally fallen down I can always picture my Dad running toward me yelling

"Get up and Get back on"

I think there is a poem I read about it once. But I did find this song which is worth the read, I am dedicating it to my dear friend who always posts great songs on her blog. You know who you are!

Stand By Rascal Flatts

Written by Dan Ortan and Blair Daly

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh

[Repeat Chorus]

Ok, you been pierced, so get up, and Stand!

xoxoxox

Barb

Preparation

No, not as in Preparation-H you notty potties out there.

I have been thinking a lot this week on preparation, and hence forth this scripture.

"I tell you these things because of your prayers; wherefore, treasure up wisdom in your bosoms, lest the wickedness of men reveal these things unto you by their wickedness, in a manner whichshall speak in your ears with a voice louder than that which shallshake the earth; but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear."

D&C 38:30

I mostly know this scripture only by the promise at the end. "but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear." But reading it anew this week has put a different spin on things.

"I tell you these things because of your prayers, "

How often do I get my prayers answered by scripture? As often as I will allow it to be. Heavenly Father cannot answer my prayers with scriptures unless I choose to be in the scriptures. So check one if I want to be prepared better be reading my scriptures.

"..treasure up wisdom in your bosoms"

When you think about something that you really love and want to protect where do you hold it? When you think about how you hold an infant? I love the wisdom I receive from my Heavenly Father and I do hold it close.

"...lest the wickedness of men reveal these things unto you by their wickedness"

If we don't treasure, ponder, pray, and continually grow upon the wisdom, and blessing that Heavenly Father has given us, we have more venerability to listen to the wickedness of man.

"....in a manner which shall speak in your ears with a voice louder than that which shall shake the earth"

Ok so this one is a little bit of stretch, but when I read this it reminded me of what kind of music do we listen to? We now live in a world where people are literally plug into some kind of voice in their ears. I also thought of people who have sound systems in there car that are so loud that they shake the earth. Why do they have to listen to it that way? Is it so they won't or can't hear the spirit?

So what does this all have to do with weight loss?

Well I have to admit that I got kicked this week, the eating was not what it should be. Treats, left, right and centre. It has to do with missing my parents again I think? But I have to wonder why I am sabotaging myself by allow the treats in the house? I have decided not to beat myself up over it. Little steps, little steps, I am changing my lifestyle, not my weight. My drop in weight is only one of many positive repercussions.

But not all the days were bad, the days that I did succeed were days where I had planned out what I was going to eat the night before. Therefore the "preparation". I do better when I am prepared. When I have food in my house that is the right kind of food, so that when I am hungry there is good food to eat. When I am prepared I do not fear. When I have a plan I eat better.

I have also tried to prepare myself for General Conference this weekend. I have done this by attending the temple twice this week, and by earnest prayer, and scriptures study. I love the temple.

I am feeling like this post is weak, but its all I have got. So once again life, just like in running, keep your head up, focus on the end goal, and keep lifting, placing, and moving one foot in front of the other.

xoxxoxo

ps This was suppose to be posted last week. So I should have another one for this week, maybe!!???

Influence

I have lived a life this week. I find myself taking more joy in day to day living than ever before. The waking up, the exercising of my body, the reading of scriptures the interaction of my children, spouse, family, friends, and acquaintances. As I look back on this week I can see the different things that I have done, that have helped other people. Nothing major, simple, really simple, ie.... phone call, smile, listening. It reminded me of one of my favourite quotes.

“Every man and every person who lives in this world wields an influence, whether for good or for evil. It is not what he says alone; it is not alone what he does. It is what he is. Every man, every person radiates what he or she really is. . . . It is what we are and what we radiate that affects the people around us.

“As individuals, we must think nobler thoughts. We must not encourage vile thoughts or low aspirations. We shall radiate them if we do. If we think noble thoughts; if we encourage and cherish noble aspirations, there will be that radiation when we meet people, especially when we associate with them.’ (Man May Know for Himself, p. 108.)

I believe this with my whole heart. Just the fact that we are here on earth, means we are wielding an influence. There is no getting around that, your here so you are an influence, but where the choice comes in is whether that influence is good or evil. This also relieves some pressure I have felt this week about my weight loss. Yes, I am helping or inspiring others around me to get healthier, but if I wasn't influencing them in that way I would be influencing them in some other way wouldn't I. So relax, Barb do your thing, and let the ripples of influence roll. It also made me think of a quote I see several times a day.

This is my fridge. I love all of these quotes but the one I am referring too is

"We will live out our thoughts for everyone to see."

Can you understand how powerful that quote is? If we consider ourselves lazy, obese, or unworthy of obtaining a healthy body that is what we will ultimately be. It won't matter how hard we try or how many calories we consume or exercise off. We will live out our thoughts for everyone to see. So it comes down too how do we change our thoughts? And the next quote.

This is my kitchen/basement door, and I love it. The thought I want to tell is the one that has LIFE, written on it.

"How to change; Change your THINKING, which will change your FEELINGS, which will change your, ACTIONS which will change your LIFE."

This is something again, that I have implemented and can say works 100% in my life.

Now all of this takes some serious commitment and work, but I promise that it is worth it. Of course you can't change thinking and then lose weight you still have to change your feelings and actions. But so many of us try and do this backwards, first we change actions but without the other changes the actions will not become permanent. But best and easiest way to change your thinking is through prayer. I know Heavenly Father created me and my body but he also created my spirit and since He created it, He can also help me recreate it in a way that is more pleasing to Him and me. Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and have peace, He can and WILL help us in this endeavour, no matter who you are, what you have or haven't done, He will help. Now just giving you a heads up that it most likely won't happen in the way you think it will. It will happen in the Lord's way and in his timing, but don't give up, keep moving forward, keep the faith and all things will be for thy betterment. Which brings me to my last quote, from the door this week. Can you see it without me telling you?

Yes that's it

STAY WITH IT

P.S. Still working on the not eating while on the phone, seriously, can it really be that hard??? Now that I think about it isn't it like super rude to eat while your on the phone??? Enough already.

xoxo

Barb

Moments and Millstones

I had a few weight loss moments lately that I would like to share with you.

The first being, that I weigh the same as my husband with his slippers on. Here is the proof.

That feels so good, it has always been something that has kinda of bugged me. Call me old fashion but I want to be smaller than my husband.

Today in the grocery store the clerk asked me "If I was a fitness guru?" After looking at her a little funny, she said "Just cause your wearing that cool jacket you just look like someone who is in to fitness stuff." While restraining myself from jumping over the counter to kiss her, I just look up at her and said "Yes, yes I am." She said "Do work at a gym or just do it by yourself?" This brought on an almost euphoric feeling. "No, I just do it mostly by myself" which she replied "Well good for you." Seriously moment of the Day.

The Jacket she was referring to is as follows and has quite a history. I bought last April(2010) at the Boston Marathon, in of course Boston. I went with two of my sister-in-laws, because one of them was actually running "The Boston Marathon". I almost didn't the jacket because it didn't really fit. But I am so glad I did. I really love this jacket, as the next few pictures will tell, but, I have to say it is looking a little loose.

Katie, Me, and Jenny in Boston April 2010.

April 2010 dream come true.

October 2010

Polson 5k October 2010

Cross country Skiing February 2011


Phoenix February 2011

March 15, 2011

Millstone

A mill consisted of two heavy flat circular stones, one resting on the other. The lower remained fixed. The upper one was rotated, by means of a handle, around a peg fastened into the lower stone, and passed through a funnel-shaped hole in the upper one. Grain was poured into this funnel and ground between the two stones, and flour came out at the circumference. Small mills were worked by hand; larger ones were turned by an ass. (Matt. 18:6; Mark 9:42).

I have decided that I am a millstone, sometimes I am the lower fixed stone, and sometimes I am the upper one that is being rotated. But either way I am still being used to produce something useful.

These pictures are stolen from my friend Dixie's blog without her permission. Sorry Dixie. But thanks.

Yesterday I choose for myself to be the lower fixed stone. I just stopped. I slept in, I cancelled Kettlebell classes and forgot to phone two people who showed up. Stayed in PJ's took the phone off the hook, finished a book, did some laundry and dishes, made some bread, and phoned my sister. It was glorious, and yet my mind, wouldn't let it be. It was running rampant with oh my you missed your workouts...... blah blah blah. It finally ended with crying and me saying out loud. I AM ENOUGH. That seemed to abate the pressure. Today was better I felt more energetic, more on top of my game. The more I listen to want I need and it turns out ok the easy it gets to listen.

My goal this week is to not eat while on the phone, so if you hear munching while I am on the phone with you tell me to STOP, or hang up on me. What's your goal this week?

Pounds, Cold Grounds, and Profounds

Hey I just noticed that this is my 51 post, wow how time flies. So I had a great week last week lost 4 pounds.

But even better, I think I figured out where I get my "fire" from. I get it from intense exercise. As some of you may recall I started P90x last week along with still leading Kettlebell classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. But what I notice is that my eating is always way better when I am exercising a tonne, those things seem to go hand in hand for me. So it was a great week for me some "research" along with weight loss. YAHHooo!

My eating is still not perfect ie had 4 fries one night, had one cinnamon bun..... It makes me nervous sometimes because maybe the only reason I am losing weight is because I am literally working my tail off. What happens if I get hurt and can't exercise?

But you know what, I was hurt after my 1/2 marathon in September, and I figured it out. I just have to have faith that between me and Heavenly Father we can work it out.

I also had a profound thought come to me this week. Which makes me think of the scripture, in D&C 88: 18-19.

"And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, ^ashall receive^bhealth in their navel and marrow to their bones;

And shall ^afind ^bwisdom and great ^ctreasures of ^dknowledge, even hidden treasures;"

Kind of funny how that works, exercising, eating right, study scriptures, writing in a journal followed by.....profound thoughts.

The thought that came to actually was in reference to another scripture, also found in D&C 18:15.

"And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one ^asoul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!"

What if, that one soul is actually me. What if, just me being converted unto Christ and his mission and life on earth, with my whole soul will bring me joy. How great will be my joy. This resonated with me. I find so much more joy now in my life now, because Heavenly Father has helped me stop the numbing. Or in other words stop over eating, because when I pick or overeat foods mindlessly it numbs me, and as Brene Brown puts it you can't just numb the bad parts YOU NUMB ALL OF IT.

One of my many good friends gave me a book that I was suppose to read a while ago, and on the insistence of another good friend I started it today. The book is called "A Course in Weight Loss" by Marianne Williamson. It is another Oprah inspired book, and I have only just begun but so far I'm hooked. It has also inspired me to add to the very bottom of my Blog a new box thing which I am going to call UNIVERSAL TRUTHS. Because the more I am in this journey, the more I realize that there are truths out there that anyone can receive from Heavenly Father, if they are searching for them. Now whether or not they acknowledge that they came from Heavenly Father is a whole other story. But here are some truths that I have found in this book so far.

"Information is important, but not usually sufficient, to motivate lasting changes in diet and lifestyle. If it were, we'd all be thin and healthy, as most people know which foods are heathy and unhealthy to eat."

"These behaviours aren't maladaptive, they're very adaptive-because they help us get through the day. They numb our emotional pain. Getting through the day becomes more important than living a long life when you're lonely, depressed, and isolated."

"The purpose of this course is to root out your fear, and replace it with inestimable love. It might seem odd to consider that fear is the source of your weight problem, and yet it is.......This course is not about your relationship with food;it is about your relationship with love."

"Intellectually understanding your body, your mind body connection, the physiology of exercise, or the realities of food metabolism mean little if you are addicted.....The fact that you yourself have anything figured out makes little or no difference to any of this. NO matter how smart you are, or how much 'work you've done on yourself,' you alone cannot outsmart the psychic force of compulsion and addiction....For this problem entrenched and pernicious as it is, you need spiritual forces to help you. For this, you need God."

"Our purpose is not to analyze your darkness but to turn on a light that, having been trapped within you, is now ready to blaze forth."

I have seen that come to fruition, my light has become brighter. I always had a light, but I feel like it was dulled or trapped underneath my, well here it is the "F" word, fat.

Ok that's it that is how far I have got, but so far so good.

Meanwhile, Jesse and I have got our Kettlebell website up and running. We should be adding videos, and more stuff soon. If you want to check it out

corekettlebelltraining.com

We took some fun pictures for the blog last week, and they turned out alright.

Isn't he the most ridiculously handsome man you have ever seen! I love my tough guy!

Yes bare feet just for you it was -7 and snowing!

The rest of these are just cool, it is amazing what you can do with a cool editing program.

PHOENIX

Land of sun, fruit, and fun.

I had a great time in Phoenix and would go back in a heartbeat. I got to visit the Mesa Temple, do some serious shopping (including my first trip to Nordstroms, and DownEast Basics), and run outside without 10 layers of clothes on. Had some serious one on one with my husband Jesse. But as always pictures are better.

It is so hard to understand the beauty of this temple.

Just looking at this picture makes me feel cold.

Orange trees growing on the Temple Lawn.

No, I am not trying to be Eve, I asked a lady and she said we could take as many as we wanted. These are Grapefruit. First time I remember seeing either a grapefruit tree or an orange tree.

Spiky palm tree thing attacking me. The leaves aren't soft they are stiff. Just so you know for next time.

Yup you guess it first Catus.

The grounds around the Temple are so beautiful and well kept. It made me want to cry flowers in February just growing like it was no big deal. Well to a Canadian girl that is a very big deal.

My trusty Kaylynn came with me we had so much fun!

Temple and Hard Rock Cafe all in one day NICE!

Enjoying the Phoenix night life or in other words being outside after dark in capris and a jacket!

Proof that Jesse was there we didn't get a picture together, I know "Brilliant."

Ok I really can't explain how great that week was I have never done anything remotely like that in over 12 years. Which would put it pre kid. Unfortunately as great as it was, coming home felt like entering into a black hole, where I would be swallowed up forever, never to breath again without someone needing something. Good news is I have started P90X , and no I will not be sharing those photos for quite some time if ever. So I have been doing that since Monday and still leading some Kettlebell classes. Click on the word Kettlebell to go to our website about Kettlebells. Jesse is going the end of this month to become a certified instructor. The extra endorphins have helped keep me going and given me some fire. So hopeful I will see results on Monday at weigh in. At Group this week I found a great Quote by Brenee Brown, I highly suggest listening to her Ted Talks.

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do."

I could talk forever about this quote but as you may notice by the time of this post it is rather late so instead I would love to hear your comments about this quote. Kenpo workout in only 7 hours must get sleep.